Tonight I received maybe the best hug I've gotten since coming to Yogaland. And that is a bold statement, because hugs here are abundant. But this was long,, firm and full of love, or perhaps affection. From a friend who I've never honestly considered in a romantic way. Of course this is all coming from the seasons changing, spring is in the air, young hormones start taking a more active lead in a young man's life. That not withstanding, this was a wonderful hug. So my mind starts working, going through the reference section, recalling at really remarkable speeds (and with astounding accuracy, considering accuracy is subjective) previous conversations, interactions, searching for some previous hint that perhaps her feelings had changed.
But there is the rub. These interactions have no basis of comparison. A conversation in community is unlike almost any conversation elsewhere. Because of the closeness, the trust, the feeling of a common purpose, shared experiences, how can you decipher the difference between a friendly conversation or a romantic one? They are both so intimate.
And so, Yogaland, your lesson for today is how to live in the moment. Don't try to piece together a story to explain a current event, the event is happening either way. It is both far more complex in it's causes, and far simpler than I can comprehend.
I must admit though the attraction is there, I still don't feel any romantic inklings towards her. Not to say those affections couldn't develop, but it certainly isn't a pursuit. Being here, I've said too many times, gives such an interesting experience in regards to men and women, the relationships that form. Like camp, it's a pressure cooker, a vacuum. The big difference is most people are here for serious personal insight. Changes the dynamic of things a bit.
Almost done Oryx and Crake. Excellent brain candy between Buddha books with stems of pathic wisdom here and there.
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