Yogaland in Dyer need

Last night the residents of the House on the Hill received word that the yoga studio and classroom would be off limits this weekend as there will be a guest program coming in. This on the heels of emails telling us not to attend classes or R&Rs during high guest count weekends, ETDs being denied when there is not a full house, and the dreaded notice that we were no longer allowed to take our meals or socialize in the "Donor Lounge". Things are getting to a fevered pitch here.
Early on we were told, "you are not staff, you are not interns, and you are not guests." This leaves a 60 person community wondering what exactly our role here is. We came to do selfless service? I suppose that is true, though I'm sure no one in this program was searching for a place they could work for free for 4 months. I came for self insight, the seva is the cost and the ETDs/yoga classes are the added benefit.
In this time, when ambiguity about our role in the community is building, and angst is stewing, something must be done to break the tension. Ms. Mary Dyer, long retired from the Yogaland scene after and unfortunate incident regarding the head of the head chef and the body of a mythical beast, is going to be revived. Let no man or woman speak the name of the current publisher, but rest assured that forays have been made with the old creative team to ensure the integrity and originality of the Times stays in tact.
The path we go down is one full of uncertain danger. If our identity is discovered, who can say the kind of punishment that shall befall us? A stern talking to? Perhaps an intense session of conscious communication (where I will be forced to point out that the Swami for which our fine organization is named was famed for his sense of humor and the light way he approached life. He is one who I believe would very much appreciate a satirical look at Yogaland)? Let all who disapprove raise their hands. And of those with their hands reaching upward, delve hard into the self inquiry and lower your hand if some part of the new Times made you laugh.For those with hands still extending to the sky, allow those hands to drop if you have yet to actually read the fine bit of journalistic performance. How many hands are still up? How many hands does it take to truly get a spanking in Yogaland?
I take my chances for the greater good of the community.
Long live Mary Dyer!